SKU: 5849790177

Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear

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Description

Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never HearThis is Oh, the Places You'll Never Go the ultimate hilarious, cynical, but absolutely realistic view of a college graduate's future. And what he or she can or can't do about it. "This commencement address will never be given, because graduation speakers are supposed to offer encouragement and inspiration. That's not what you need. You need a warning." So begins Carl Hiaasen's attempt to prepare young men and women for their future. And who better to

This is Oh, the Places You'll Never Go--the ultimate hilarious, cynical, but absolutely realistic view of a college graduate's future. And what he or she can or can't do about it.

"This commencement address will never be given, because graduation speakers are supposed to offer encouragement and inspiration. That's not what you need. You need a warning."
So begins Carl Hiaasen's attempt to prepare young men and women for their future. And who better to warn them about their precarious paths forward than Carl Hiaasen? The answer, after reading Assume the Worst, is: Nobody.
And who better to illustrate--and with those illustrations, expand upon and cement Hiaasen's cynical point of view--than Roz Chast, best-selling author/illustrator and National Book Award winner? The answer again is easy: Nobody.
Following the format of Anna Quindlen's commencement address (Being Perfect) and George Saunders's commencement address (Congratulations, by the way), the collaboration of Hiaasen and Chast might look typical from the outside, but inside it is anything but.
This book is bound to be a classic, sold year after year come graduation time. Although it's also a good gift for anyone starting a job, getting married, or recently released from prison. Because it is not just funny. It is, in its own Hiaasen way, extremely wise and even hopeful. Well, it might not be full of hope, but there are certainly enough slivers of the stuff in there to more than keep us all going.

Binding Type: Hardcover
Publisher: Knopf Publishing Group
Published: 04/10/2018
ISBN: 9780525655015
Pages: 64
Weight: 0.35lbs
Size: 7.10h x 5.10w x 0.70d

Review Citations: Kirkus Reviews 01/01/0001
Voice of Youth Advocates 08/01/2018 - Recommended - Hard To Beat
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SKU: 5849790177

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Nicholas Peterson
Carnegie, US
★★★★★ 3
Wide, feminine neck
Special Size: Two Pack, Size: Medium, Color: Black/Army Green
I ordered Medium, as I usually wear. I’m 5’11” 175lbs. The neck was very wide and cut semi/deep. It looked like a woman’s workout shirt. The material looks and feels nice, and other than the neck it fit true to size. I returned it because of how they fit in the neck.
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Reviewed in the United States on February 6, 2025
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fcrs79
New York, US
★★★★★ 5
Nice Shirts!
I really like these muscle shirts. They fit good and they look great. I also like they look and feel on me.
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Reviewed in the United States on December 27, 2024
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Merrill Jordan
Chelsea, US
★★★★★ 5
Very comfortable
Special Size: Two Pack, Size: XX-Large, Color: Black/Dark Blue
I like how they fit and feel and so for there is no shrinkage and would buy again.
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Reviewed in the United States on January 5, 2025
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DBerrrg
Grantham, US
★★★★★ 5
Surprisingly good quality and cut.
Considering that this brand tends to be a bit hit-or-miss (mostly hit) I was apprehensive about the fit and sizing. These fit so well that I bought other colours and have no issue with the sleeve length (often cheaper brands have very short sleeves) nor with the length of the body of the shirt. They look great, the fabric quality is excellent, and the colours are compatible with a broad range of pants (you can't go past black pants, black jacket/blazer, and any colour of this underneath).
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Reviewed in the United States on May 20, 2025
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John Carosella
Boise, US
★★★★★ 5
Nice feel
Special Size: Two Pack, Size: Medium, Color: A-wine Red/Dark Grey
I’m 5’8”, trim and athletic build. The sleeves are a tiny bit tight and would be unpleasant on a warmer than expected day, but for a cool day just fine. Nice fit. Feels pleasant to the touch.
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Reviewed in the United States on March 5, 2026

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